Real guys and romance novels





 

 

In what must be considered a victory for the average guy, Harlequin says it wants to begin using “real men” as models for its book covers.

You know Harlequin. It publishes a thousand paperback romance novels every year. Its target audience is women and, therefore, the book covers typically feature a hunky male model.

That’s where Fabio – a testosterone version of Anna Nicole Smith without quite as much personal drama – found his initial fame.

According to a Reuters story, readers have been bothered that the young and small models pictured on the covers often did not resemble the heroes of the story. Those heroes are often more mature and, one person said, a bit bigger than the models.

Can anyone say, “Have a sandwich”?

The story was about an open casting call for these “real men.” It included a photo of a fellow posing in front of a camera. He was shirtless, of course, exposing a chiseled abdomen and huge, muscular arms. In other words, the only thing that would set him apart from the other cover photos I’ve seen might be that he is not a “professional” model. Until now, anyway.

Listen to a real guy, Harlequin. That is not the way the real world looks.

Picture this

First of all, a real man (And let’s consider this “real man” to be at least 30 years old, which is fair considering that Harlequin said its average reader is a 42-year-old woman) would not run around half-naked unless his torso was painted blue or red or green with a big #1. And, in that case, it’s likely he would also be wearing a brightly colored wig.

Additionally, he would not be lounging seductively next to a yacht but would be screaming from a balcony rail while trying not to spill his beer.

And forget about the fellow whose tummy muscles you can count. A real guy has one big ab. He thinks otherwise, just as he also believes it isn’t overhanging his belt. He’s wrong on both counts.

The hero in your story probably leads a tough life. That is, he has to work for a living. He’s obviously not married (I understanding that “fooling around” is mostly verboten in the romance genre), which means he also takes care of the household himself – cooking, cleaning, washing clothes. All of that is to say that it is unlikely that he takes time to shave his chest.

The modern romance novel hero might very well be a captain of industry, the story suggests. That is a little less likely if he is spending five hours a day honing the cut and definition of his shoulder muscles, unless he’s actually a sergeant of industry who’s hoping to sleep his way into a battlefield commission.

Another thing, if your hero is so “sensitive” in his relationship with the story’s heroine, if he is so wrapped up in caring for her and about her, when does he make the time to work on his beautiful tan?

No, your real man, if he’s Caucasian, probably has a farmer’s tan – darkened lower arms that turn white at the short sleeve line. The same defining line can be found separating his white shoulders from his red neck.

So, if you want a realistic image for your cover, issue a casting call for “real men.” The guys you’re looking for will be in their 40s and will have a bit of a beer belly and some flab to their chest muscles. Their arms might show slight muscle definition, but that may be an old scar instead. Most of them will have their hair in a contemporary cut, nothing to flow in the breeze. Your model’s face will probably be either hairy or clean-shaven. Real men cannot maintain that three-day-old beard look popular in television and movies.

Get a real man on your covers and see what it does to sales.

Steve Martaindale is a self-syndicated columnist. Write him at penmanmail-steve@yahoo. com.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.