PASTOR’S PEN

Slowing down


 

 

Over the past six months or so, I have become a landlubber. When I am down at the ship channel, I merely view the massive vessels slipping discreetly in and out of our local ports.

I used to board them. I used to climb the long gangways, sometimes feeling as though I was bouncing on a suspension bridge. I would teeter at the top of the gangway and wonder how I was going to navigate the drop onto the ship’s deck. I would, after the long climb, pant (out of breath) some kind of greeting to the crew member on duty at the ship’s security desk.

In every case, the words extended to me in return were, “Welcome aboard, sir,” and then I would be escorted inside to meet the officers, captain and crew.

I was doing this on Tuesdays (my day off from serving at the church) as a volunteer chaplain for the Seamen’s Center in Corpus Christi. On any one day, there might be five to eight ships that I would visit to welcome crews from around the world to our area and determine if there were needs in which I could be of any assistance. More often than not, I found myself being served by their kindness and expressions of hospitality.

Some type of neurological process has been at work in my system weakening my arms and legs. While I am working with the doctors in trying to determine the cause, and, more importantly… if there is anything that can be done about it, I am increasingly aware that I cannot do what I once was able.

I am an active person. I have never considered myself as a “couch potato.” If I am not at work, I am “at work” on any number of what my wife calls “projects.” I could work from sun up to sun down and then still be at work on something; but, not any more.

I have had to let go of my chaplain service for the Seamen Center (which is an incredibly valuable ministry…and they desperately need chaplains). I have had to let go of a number of other things as I am increasingly aware of my limitations.

Some would say that part of what I am experiencing is due to my “time of life”…that doorway we each will enter without accepting the invitation into the senior phase of living. I am going to deny that… as I don’t consider myself as growing old. But, what I cannot deny is that I just don’t have the capacity to fully function as I was once able. So, instead of steaming through life, I am doing much more of what I am experiencing with the ships…just letting life pass by me. Boys and girls running down the streets; guys and gals on bicycles rushing by; golfers chasing their balls on the course; swimmers doing their strokes down the lanes; and, yes, even many of those “projects.”

I will admit to a bit of sadness due to my disability. But, I made a decision some time ago not to pay much attention to it. I vowed that I would not let all this get me down, but to focus more on my relationship with God.

Yes, I cannot deny that I, indeed, am moving (I won’t admit to having already moved) to the senior phase of my life. That in itself opens all kinds of possibilities for me to set myself on what will lie ahead for each of us. Becoming more aware of Christ’s eternal love is really a great thing! It softens the blow, so to speak, and helps you to know that no matter what happens, Jesus is always there. At the same time, my slowing down is making me even more aware of how much Jesus is truly in our lives. When I was so busy, I would often miss that. So, hey, its not all that bad to have something occurring in your life that is causing you to let go of the things you were once able to do. It just gives you the opportunity to discover what you were missing when you were too busy to notice…that God’s love is to be found in abundance in our lives, and that Jesus is always there to show it to us.

Father Doug Schwert is the vicar at Trinity-by-the-Sea Episcopal Church in Port Aransas.


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