Garlic theft and other misdemeanors
There I was in the produce section at the Family Center browsing the garlic. I began to notice that several garlic pods were missing a clove. Here a clove, there a clove, everywhere a clove was missing. I had to sort through the whole pile of pods to find one that hadn't been "picked".
Who does that? Why? It's not like a pod of garlic will break the bank. I suspect those cloves didn't pass through the register when the "pod pickers" checked out.
And then there are Those Who Don't Flush Toilets. I can understand the occasional distraction or malfunctioning porcelain throne. I don't understand Those Who Don't Flush Toilets - ever.
While we're on the subject, there are Men Who Can't Put Toilet Lids Down. This is probably more common among men who come from all male households where mothers don't enforce The Rule. Men who come from all male households, excepting their mothers, are usually converted upon becoming fathers of one or more girls. More than one female throwing a fit at the same time is usually enough to convert the offender.
Still in that vein, who walks out of The Library leaving an empty roll of toilet tissue? Surprisingly, women are as prone to this indiscretion as men. Does anyone ever think about the next person in line? Apparently not.
Let's move on - and out of The Library.
Let's go outside where we have Butt Droppers, as in cigarette butts. These droppings are not pretty and they are malodorous. There are receptacles to contain them. They should be used.
Let's go to parking lots. Contrary to popular belief, parking lots are not receptacles for dirty diapers and should not be used as such. Who does that?
We can't go outside without addressing dogs. I'm a dog lover, but I don't love it when someone's dog leaves us an unwelcome gift in our front yard or, worse, our courtyard, which has happened. That means someone let their dog enter through our courtyard gate (which is like walking up to our front door), unload and leave it to us to clean up the mess. Thanks, but no thanks.
It's not annoying to find a whole garlic pod, a clean toilet with the seat down and a full roll of toilet tissue. We should be able to expect a parking lot to be free of cigarette butts and soiled diapers, and to stroll through our front yards without stepping in something soft and stinky.
It all boils down to one thing, the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Think about that the next time you're tempted to pluck a clove from a garlic pod and pilfer it in your pocket.
Mary Henkel Judson is editor and copublisher of the South Jetty. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Correction: In last week's Spinoff, I referred to Christie Campbell as being half African American to illustrate that, as an adult non-Caucasian woman she was not the typical candidate for the form of cancer that usually strikes Caucasian male infants, to which she succumbed on Jan. 4. Christie was not African American, she was half Puerto Rican, and I apologize for the error.